Choosing the Priority Over the Feeling

I’m feeling weary. I’m feeling overwhelmed. I’m feeling insecure. I’m feeling guilt-ridden. Why?

I’m just getting over a terrible cold and I’m still producing a hacking cough. I have a wisdom tooth breaking through my gum and it hurts.

I had to “close” the books for my husband’s business and then meet with the accountant to prepare for the taxes, and since accounting is NOT one of my gifts, my brain feels absolutely drained of anything useful.

I’m feeling insecure and under-appreciated in ministry and in my relationships. Mind you, no one has done or said anything to make me feel this way; it’s just how I feel.

An opportunity to share my precious Jesus was cancelled and I’m at a loss of what to do with the information I had already prepared. And most frightening, is God trying to tell me that I have no business pursuing a speaking/writing ministry? Is that why the event didn’t take place?

Weary. Overwhelmed. Insecure. These are the feelings I have. Because I cannot identify any valid reason for these feelings, I wind up feeling guilt-ridden, another uncomfortable feeling. So what do I do?

I bring them to my Jesus. I’m always quoting Jan Silvious and saying, “Feelings don’t have a brain.” Feelings just are; they have no rhyme or reason, they just are.

OK, so I bring these feelings to Jesus in prayer, in contemplation and I wait. I pour out my heart. I sit quietly and listen for the still, small voice to remind me of my priorities.

Doing His will no matter my feelings: that’s a priority.

Taking my thoughts captive: that’s a priority.

Continuing to spend time in the Bible with Him: that’s a priority.

Abiding in the True Vine as one of His branches: that’s a priority.

Thank you Father for showing me that my feelings don’t have the power to stop me from hearing Your voice…or responding in obedience. It’s my choice to pursue the priority....You!

PS - The weight loss continues going well.

Our Unchanging God

“But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything done in it will be laid bare.” 2 Peter 3:10

A few years ago while hiking on the Appalachian Trail (AT), I came across a mud slide on the side of a mountain in Vermont. My partner and I rounded a curve and were met with the sight of complete destruction and the trail just disappeared. Huge pine trees lay on the side of the mountain like match sticks that had been dropped to the ground by a giant. They were all facing the same direction with dirt and rock piled all around them.

We noticed some temporary trail markers, so we knew that other hikers had made it through the debris. We climbed up and over trees and through rock piles clambering carefully for about half of a mile until we resumed our hike on the well worn path of the AT.

I have never forgotten the awesome and somewhat frightening sight. It was a powerful reminder that this earth, which appears to be so permanent, is only temporary. That fact is easily forgotten as we live our lives as though this place, this world, is forever.

One day we will be in eternity and all that has been will pass away. Our Lord is the only truly permanent, unchanging entity that is worthy of our trust. Thank you Father for being unchanging and worthy!

Food for Thought

"Show me, LORD, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting my life is.” Ps. 39:4

Survival rate, treatment options, side effects from chemo; somewhere in somebody’s life today these terms are becoming integrated into their daily vocabulary. Alarming, unfamiliar phrases that signify the possible number of days left in an individual’s life because of three little words. It is amazing how simple words can pare away any extraneous impediments and reduce a life to essential priorities: “you have cancer”.

Maybe the words you heard were different; words like “there has been a car accident” or “there is no longer any brain activity” or “there was an IED”.

And accompanying those words are some deep, thought provoking questions. If the words were directed at you and you now had a definite explanation for your cause of death, how would you react? Would you be filled with regrets? Would you be satisfied with how you lived your life? What would you do differently? What if the words were directed to a loved one, how would you react then?

The truth is none of us know what the number of our days. A chosen few are given an indication of how many days are left to them, but for the most part death can be sudden and we have no idea when it will occur. We do have the knowledge that we are finite creatures, but do we live every day with that knowledge in the forefront of our minds?

No, I myself have not heard these words directed at me, but I’m aware of a situation where this very circumstance has become a hard reality and it made me stop and think. Am I satisfied with how I’m living my life? Are you?

Life is short, no matter how we look at it. I don’t want to stand before my Jesus and have to account for opportunities I missed to tell someone I loved them. I don’t want to admit that I was contemptuous of someone’s love for me. And I can’t imagine my heartbreak when I find out just how many opportunities I missed to share the love of God with my “neighbor”.

Definitely, food for thought….and prayer.

From Family to Foe

“If an Ephraimite fugitive said, "Let me cross," the men of Gilead would ask, "Are you an Ephraimite?" and he would say, "No." And they would say, "Say, 'Shibboleth.'" But he would always say, "Sibboleth"—he couldn't say it right. Then they would grab him and kill him there at the fords of the Jordan.” Judges 12: 5-6 (MSG)

Let’s take a break from the topic of weight loss.

I came across the above verse in my reading the other day and it has been rolling around in my mind since then. As we read in this particular record of Israel’s history, Israel has spread far and wide in the Promised Land.

Because of the distance separating this huge family from one another, new dialects have emerged in what was once their common language.

Now they do not even recognize each other as family members and they are battling each other! How sad that after all the tribe had been through, in just a few short generations, they seem to have lost track of each other.

But think about it. There is a grave lesson in this story that emphasizes the need to gather with our “tribe” (read ‘peeps’).

You see, there is a unique vernacular, nuances in conversation, that becomes established between two people who spend much time together, a kind of verbal shorthand that both people understand without even trying.

And when people are not able to spend that kind of time, they will lose the ease of their conversation. How many of us have experienced this with our families, best friends, or even our spouse?

I’ve realized that the same could be said about our relationship with Jesus. Without the daily, hopefully day-long conversation called prayer, we will quickly lose our ease with Him and a language barrier may intrude on what should be our most intimate relationship.

I know that without that daily quiet time in the Word, in prayer and in silence waiting to hear from Jesus, I would soon not speak the same dialect, and quite possibly lose out on the sweet communion that is mine when I sit with Him, share my heart, and wait to hear His still small voice. Let’s not risk losing track of Jesus, the dearest Friend we will ever have!

The Necessity of Friends

“By yourself you're unprotected.
With a friend you can face the worst.
Can you round up a third?
A three-stranded rope isn't easily snapped.” Ecc. 4:12 (MSG)

The Word of God has been an amazing source of wisdom and truth for me. Yet how many times have I ignored what I know to be true even when I find it in the Scripture? I know and love the Scripture from Ecclesiastes I have quoted today and yet in my pride I was unwilling to be accountable to anyone as I attempted to lose weight again. I was deeply ashamed that I had gained back the weight in the first place and I was reluctant to ask my close friends for help.

But the truth is I need my friends to encourage me and keep me accountable. Our Father in heaven knows this and His Word clearly supports it. I can’t fight this battle on my own. The fact is I got into this mess on my own and should have asked for help long before now. My chances for success are much greater with the accountability than without it.

So I’m holding myself accountable in this blog and sharing the lessons I have been learning. I am letting you all know that I am actually walking/running two miles three days a week. My food intake has returned to a much healthier place. I have not done the mindless eating that allows me to “numb out” to my pain or hurt. And I’m making progress. My pants are more comfortable, I am getting stronger and a little faster, and mentally and emotionally, I’m in a much better place. So I want to thank my daughter Shannon and my friends Susan and Chris and you the readers for your support and encouragement as I continue this weight loss challenge.