Maturity in Spite of Me

“Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.”  Ephesians 4: 14 – 15

I wanted his approval and good will more than I wanted to be holy.  I wanted to be held in high esteem, so I tolerated bad behavior and foolish jesting at the expense of others.  My desire for acceptance was greater than my desire for God.  These are my sins…confessed, repented of, forgiveness requested and received before the Lord and the appropriate individuals, now shared to make this point: spiritual maturity is attained slowly but surely in spite of self because God is mightier than foolishness or sin.  He will finish His work in us.

As many of you [readers] are aware, relationships are extremely important to me.  But as I reflect, those relationships were not more important to me than my standing before particular individuals.  Through the consequence of the loss of those relationships over the last few years, along with the humbling and difficult work of repairing them, the Holy Spirit is doing the transforming work required to make me “grow up”.  Spiritual maturity requires hard work!  And I believe relationships are the means by which Jesus is transforming me, and you, to spiritually mature people who resemble Jesus. 

Truth in my inmost being was required first: truth about who God is and His mighty power used to make me holy through the circumstances of this life that His sovereignty allows.  Truth about my sins: my desires, my will, being more important than the will of the Savior who rescued me from the pit of hell.  Finally, I had to be honest and recognize that my life in Him is to reflect and pursue kingdom purposes; “His kingdom come, His will be done”.

My next step was in observing others through the Lord’s perspective: each individual is His creation.  Therefore, I had no choice but to respect each individual and their opinions, cull the wheat from the chaff and pray for wisdom and understanding to confront my sinful behavior and make amends where I could.  Restoration is the work of God and I am to join Him in that work.

Finally, I must continue to apply the above steps willfully and intentionally if I am submitting to the work of the Holy Spirit.  Today I am celebrating God’s faithfulness, love, mercy and eternal presence in my life.  I still have a long way to go in this process of maturity and I won’t be surprised if I have to practice these steps many times to get it right!  But I’m in this for the long haul…to become like Jesus, to be presented as blameless before my holy, righteous God.  Amen.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T (Find Out What it Means to Jesus)

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”  Eph. 4: 2

 Respect: Aretha famously sang about it. Our society complains about the lack thereof.  But not long ago, I was confronted by the lack of respect within myself.  I was taught some difficult truth by a person that I, sinfully, did not value as I should.  While I am not proud of this fact, I found the Holy Spirit speaking sternly to me in my arrogance and hammered home a lesson I’m not likely to forget anytime soon!  But as usually happens when the Lord moves, the experience also allowed me to ponder the necessity of respect for others.  Even if I don’t particularly like someone, or believe that somehow I am superior, I am to treat each individual with respect.  Period.

The fact is every person is created in the image of God according to Genesis 1:27.  If I’m “completely humble and gentle” than respect is present.   In Philippians 2:3, Paul also says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,…” Frankly, that is the definition for respect: “esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person.”

How would our relationships alter if we recognized the creation made in God’s image in every individual we encountered?  What do we miss when we are unwilling to view others through the lenses of the Lord and see them as He does?  Honestly, the path to maturity is cultivated through relationships…and respect is one of our most important tools.  Thankfully, the Lord handed me that tool (again) through one of His children and altered my vision in the process.  

A Single Moment

 “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:7-9

I saw the most amazing sight today:  a Cooper’s hawk grabbed a Mourning Dove right out of thin air!  I was just stepping outside with my dog when the two doves were startled from the ground and took off for the trees behind my deck.  Suddenly, I saw the hawk swoop from a branch and grab one of the doves in mid-air with incredible precision.  Feathers flew as did the remaining dove making a quick escape, flying for its life.  There was barely a sound as the hawk flew off into the woods with its lunch clenched firmly in its talons.  This all took place in a single moment,

That moment grabbed my attention.  Just like that dove, Satan can grab us when we least expect it!  As Peter reminds us, we must remain alert and remember that Satan is prowling about just looking for an opportunity to devour us.  Satan uses all kinds of distractions to tempt us: the computer, TV, the Coach bag that is out of our budget, or (in my case) a second helping of dessert!  Thankfully, unlike that dove, we usually have plenty of time to make a decision about the temptation we face.  But there are situations when we might only have a single moment to decide.

What choice will you make today?

Understanding Learned Powerlessness

“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.” Is. 40:29

In my last few blogs I have been sharing some of the lessons the Lord has been teaching me as I break the habit of over-eating. I recently began to recognize that the last several years have been deeply painful and highly stressful and that I have felt powerless to control the circumstances surrounding my life. And as I pondered the idea of powerlessness, I started to see a pattern of behavior emerge in my history.

Let me define exactly what I’m talking about. Children do not have the authority to make life decisions such as where to live, how money is spent, how discipline is applied, etc. Those decisions are left to their parents or guardians. Children learn how to make decisions by observing the adults in their lives making decisions and then being given the opportunity to make decisions for themselves. This is learned behavior. But what if the child does not observe or learn healthy decision making skills? The result can be an unwillingness to take ownership or authority in the decision making process, in other words, a learned helplessness or powerlessness.

I’m recognizing powerlessness has been my constant companion, starting in my childhood. With the specific dysfunctions in my family of origin, as a child many of my life circumstances were a result of someone else’s decisions and behaviors. As a young adult I had to learn to take back my appropriate power; my authority over myself; authority to say yes or no to someone; authority to engage or not engage in different activities, and the authority to experience the emotions I felt rather than denying them. Through counseling, prayer, and learning to trust “that I am who God says I am and that I can do all things through Christ” (thank you, Beth Moore and “Believing God”!) I made some significant progress in this arena.

However, when life becomes highly stressful, I fall back into the unhealthy behaviors, especially the behavior of learned helplessness that is so familiar. I found myself relinquishing my authority, my power in many areas of life, especially in my food choices. More succinctly, when profoundly stressed, I abdicate responsibility in my own life! But I have an inside track to taking back my power, for God gives strength to the powerless!

How about you? Do you find yourself abdicating responsibility in your life? How is that manifested? Does it take you time to recognize the behavior? I would love your feedback as I explore this topic further for my next blog.

And by the way, I have lost between 5 to 7 pounds in the last six weeks! I’m very excited about the weight loss, but I’m more excited about what God has been showing me in this process!

A Different Easter Celebration

For the first time in more years than I can remember, I was not in church on Easter Sunday. My husband and I had gone camping with our daughter and son-in-law for some much needed respite after a season of extreme stress and sadness. But early on Monday morning I was feeling so guilty! How could I have missed the one service in the year where the resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ is celebrated? I tried to comfort myself by the fact that all day long yesterday I hummed, “Jesus Christ is Risen Today” but somehow, it didn’t seem like enough. How could I have missed declaring, “He is risen!” followed by, “He is risen indeed!” almost as though the phrase was a secret password for an exclusive club?

Even last night, I was awake fretting over the fact that I missed church yesterday. What would people think? Would they think I didn’t love Jesus? Would my status as a “good” Christian be called into question? Does my not attending a church service on Easter make me a backslidden Christian? Do I need to repent and confess that my heart and soul has been in a period of mourning and I just couldn’t bring myself to put on my Christian “suit” and behave like all born-again Christians are supposed to behave on Easter Sunday? Does Jesus think that I don’t love Him enough to attend church?

Finally this morning, after some quiet time with Jesus in the Word, then praying and listening, I turned to a loving, precious sister in Christ, and shared some of my fears and heart-aches. As I poured out my heart, the tears were flowing down my face as I wept over the grief and loss I have experienced over the last year. And after the phone call ended, I continued to weep with my Lord, sensing His comforting presence as though He had gathered me into His arms, as a mother would her injured child. I was comforted and soon my soul was feeling refreshed. The ringing of my phone gently interrupted my comfortable silence. The voice on the other end was a different beloved sister who was experiencing her own grief and was seeking counsel. As we spoke, God provided a unique opportunity to share the reality of my Easter morning with her. The following is how I spent my Easter morning.

I had the privilege of observing two sets of new-born twin lambs, barely an hour old. New life! They were still struggling to get to their feet, breathing air for the first time, and softly bleating as they explored their small stall. As I described the scene to my friend, my heart turned to Jesus, our Lamb, the paschal Lamb! Isaiah 53:7 tells us, “He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth.” As I described watching those new-born lambs, I was reminded of the unfathomable gift, a gift that I did not and do not deserve, but was given in spite of my sinful self: Jesus Christ and the indwelling Holy Spirit. Watching them yesterday, in that moment, I was once again overwhelmed with the grace of God the Father who was willing to allow His only-begotten Son to die on a cross, to show us His power and love by raising Jesus from the dead to new life to provide a means of communing with our holy Creator. And to think that we have been invited to receive this gift of new life through Jesus Christ! That is Easter – the celebration of the resurrection!

As I ended the conmversation with my friend, it became obvious to me that my heart needed to be reminded that Easter is not about attending a church service, or the sin of worrying about what people may be thinking about me. Easter is about truly worshipping Jesus Christ! As I told my friend, perhaps that was a far more authentic celebration of Easter: to be in a barn watching those little lambs so fresh and new to the world. May I be able to recognize that every day can be a celebration of His death and resurrection and the new life that I have because of that precious Lamb of God!

In My Heart of Hearts

Last year while attending our women’s retreat, I was privileged to become acquainted with our tremendous speaker, Wendi Pope of Proverbs 31 Ministries. As she delivered her message, I was gleaning deep spiritual truths and God convicted my heart about a sin of disobedience. I had long felt God was calling me to pursue a ministry of speaking and writing, but I was convinced that I had neither the ability nor the credentials to do it. In His grace, one of the truths that Wendi revealed is that God “will qualify the called, not necessarily call the qualified.” As I allowed that truth to permeate my being, God provided the means to take a leap of faith in radical obedience! Through Wendi, I learned about an amazing conference, fittingly called, ‘She Speaks!’ ‘She Speaks!’ is hosted by Proverbs 31 Ministries and is a remarkable opportunity for women who believe God may be calling them into ministry for Christian writing and/or speaking. For the first time, acknowledging a longing in my heart of hearts, I took the risk of believing that God was calling me in a new direction for ministry. So feeling akin to Moses and his feelings of inadequacy, with great trepidation and astonishment at my own chutzpah I registered and started to gather the funds needed to attend.

And as always, when we are obedient, the Lord blesses! I have never been so energized, educated, and encouraged by a conference! ‘She Speaks!’ provides practical and thorough training as a speaker and/or a writer, while networking with like-minded women who are also pursuing their passion for Jesus Christ. The break-out sessions far exceeded my expectations, providing current information and resources while consistently focusing our hearts on serving Jesus Christ and our community. Furthermore, those who presented were knowledgeable and concise in what is required to succeed in a highly competitive marketplace. Is God possibly calling you to this ministry? Prayerfully consider going to Proverbs 31 Ministries to discover more details about attending this conference.

Upon returning home, I found myself taking steps to finally pursue the dream of a new ministry. Because of the encouragement of last year’s conference, I am involved in a local Christian writer’s group and working slowly but steadily on a book which I plan on presenting to a publisher at this year’s conference. Currently, I am registered and planning to attend ‘She Speaks!’ again this year. Proverbs 31 Ministries has provided even more incentive to attend this year’s conference by offering a scholarship for women who are bloggers. I started blogging and have been blessed by sharing what God is teaching me in my life. If you are a blogger and you would like more information, go to Lisa TerKeurst's blog . I cannot wait to reconnect with those I met last year, and I’m looking forward to making new relationships this year. My testimony is that while I may be living proof that God uses the “foolish things of the world to shame the wise”, I cannot adequately express God’s faithfulness in providing the venue of ‘She Speaks!’ Only our loving God could provide a woman like me such an opportunity to pursue a dream He planted deep in my heart of hearts.

The Order of Things

As many of my beloved readers may be aware, I am a routine individual (refer to the previous blog, “Bovine Creatures”). Last week was proof yet again of how discombobulated I become when my routine is interrupted! In my normal week I have daily devotions every morning and I also work-out three times a week. Mondays are usually my day to do a regular housecleaning: laundry, scrub floors, vacuum, clean bathrooms, pick-up, and generally set my agenda for the week. I see clients on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday and between clients I write, do personal bills and our business invoicing and bookkeeping, along with ministry research. Fridays I leave open for a variety of things: writing, gardening, or perhaps major household projects. Basically, every day has its routine.

Last week however the routine was interrupted. I had a funereal to attend on Monday which encompassed most of the day. Therefore, Monday’s work got pushed to Tuesday leaving Wednesday and Thursday to become overwhelmingly busy so that I would be free to assist my husband on Friday with his business. Needless to say, all week long, I had to consult a calendar to remember what day of the week it was and avoid missing client appointments. I like my routine, the order of events; order allows me to accomplish my work and maintain sanity and the comfort of our household. I become confused, tired and grumpy when my routine is altered.

Oddly enough, during my devotion reading last week, I realized that Jesus had a routine, an order, to His life. As I was reading John 13:1-5, I was immediately arrested by the order of events as He prepared to wash the feet of His disciples. The passage reads like this:

It was just before the Passover Feast. Jesus knew that the time had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he now showed them the full extent of his love.
2The evening meal was being served, and the devil had already prompted Judas Iscariot, son of Simon, to betray Jesus. 3Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; 4so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. 5After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him. John 13:1-5

Beginning in verse 1, John shares with us that Jesus knew that His time to leave the world and return to the Father from whom He had come was rapidly approaching. Jesus is longing to show His disciples the full extent of His love. Then, in verse 3, we read that Jesus knew that all power was His, that He had authority over everything, and that He had come from the Father and was returning to the Father. Did you catch it? That was the order: knowing how deeply beloved Jesus is by His Father and His authority was from God. Then Jesus would display His unfathomable love for His disciples. The only begotten Son of God, the Prince of Peace would don a simple towel, and take on the role of a servant to wash the filthy feet of His disciples.

I’m not saying that Jesus could not have become a servant to His disciples without first recognizing God’s love for Him. He’s perfect; of course He knew God’s love for Him! My point is that under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, John spells out an order of events for broken, weak, and faulty people: us. If we truly want to become the loving servant demonstrated by Jesus, we have to first stop and acknowledge to the depths of our soul how deeply loved we are by our Father; that we belong to Him as His children and He to us as our loving Father. God and God alone is the source of our power – power to love our neighbor and become their servant. Only as we acknowledge His love and care for us can we then, by the power of the Holy Spirit, become the loving servants God created us to be, in that order! Otherwise, we will become confused, grumpy, and exhausted!

If confused, grumpy, or exhausted is your state of mind, take a look inward. Are you focused on God’s love for you, even reveling in it? Or are you focusing on crossing your duties off of a never-ending list of chores, feeling resentful? Find the correct routine! Get things in order! I can’t speak for you, but I know that I have much to do to further His kingdom today and I do a better job when I do things in the correct order!

Healing from Disease

Ezekiel 17:24: “And all the trees will know that it is I, the Lord, who cuts the tall tree down and makes the short tree grow tall. It is I who makes the green tree wither and gives the dead tree new life. I, the Lord, have spoken, and I will do what I said!” (NLT)

As many of you know I am an avid gardener. I love spending time in my gardens and watching the beauty of God’s creation unfold through the seasons as the plants, shrubs and trees go through the assorted stages of growth. However there are times when a plant just doesn’t thrive for various reasons. Then I have to research the needs of the plant to be sure of the amount of sunlight or rain it receives, if it is getting enough nutrients and checking it for parasites or disease. Ideally, as the issue is addressed, the plant will return to a healthy state and continue to grow.
Through the autumn months, I have been watching one of my favorite trees suffering through an issue of ‘split-bark’ disease. ‘Split-bark’ disease is sometimes the result of large temperature changes that result in the splitting of the bark of thinner barked trees. It may not kill the entire tree but the area of bark that splits needs to be treated so that a callous can develop and prevent any other disease from setting in. Smaller limbs above the split will manifest the lack of nutrients by the leaves curling up and dying, and may lead to the death of the rest of the branch. However, with the removal of the affected limbs and treating the affected bark, many times the rest of the tree will continue to flourish, the gaps from previous removal of branches will eventually fill-in and the tree will be restored to health and vigor.
Right now I believe my church is suffering through a very similar issue of ‘split-bark’ disease. Individuals have sinned for various reasons (splitting bark), and the result has been accusations (withering of leaves) and the death of relationships within the body (death of limbs). We have tried to treat the affected area of damage, but gossip (other disease) has set in, and now the whole body (tree) is suffering.
But amazingly enough, we are still seeing new growth! God’s amazing grace mercy and love are supplying the nutrients for new growth in spite of the disease! New people are coming in the doors of our building to learn about and worship our risen Lord. People are growing in their relationship with Jesus Christ and new people are accepting Christ, almost on a weekly basis. God is showing us His mighty power. He is taking center stage which is where He belongs in the first place, and growing His body, the church (tree). My joy knows no bounds!

Perfect Perspective

I have always loved flying. My husband, who is more traveled and more sophisticated than I am, doesn’t get as wound up about flying as I do. He will want to sit next to the window so that he can sleep! Sleep! Who can sleep? I revert to behaving like a five year old, I get so excited. I will beg to sit next to the window so that I can look out and observe the world from a cloud’s perspective. I don’t want to miss anything, especially if it is a clear day. I strain to find the local rotary as a reference point so I can try to find my house if we head south from Boston. I search the shoreline for landmarks to help me know which city or state over which we might be flying. I love how mountains look like wrinkles on the surface of the earth, and watching rivers snake back and forth through the expanse of the landscape below. I scrutinize the ocean with bated breath in anticipation of spotting a whale, an ocean liner or a carrier when flying over water. We have such an awesome perspective when flying thousands of feet above the earth!

Unfortunately, I do not always have such an awesome perspective on my spiritual life. Last week I blogged about my own perspective on an upsetting issue. As I prayed through my confusion, fear, and anger, God in His faithfulness revealed something that was painful for me to see. He started subtly since our Father is a gentleman and I can be somewhat slow on the uptake! However the subtlety ended when, through our pastor’s sermon, God hit me right between the proverbial eyes of my soul. Idolatry! I have been guilty of the sin of making my church an idol! And to add insult to injury, idolatry was the topic of the lesson I was teaching for the Women’s Sunday school class! Ouch!

After a time of confession and repentance I have gained a new perspective on the issues at church. Luke 6: 41 spells it out for me loud and clear: "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye”? Why indeed? Jesus showed me very clearly that, as my mother would say, I should tend to my own knitting! At the end of the day, I am going to stand before God and account for my actions, my thoughts, my sins; no one else’s. I have plenty of work to do on myself in my quest to be more Christ-like; my time would be better spent focusing on Jesus, above the church, above my loved ones, above anything, especially the actions of others. Caring for the hearts of others is the responsibility of Jesus and frankly, He is much better suited to it than I am. After all, He has the perfect perspective!

The Danger of Idols

We are so proficient at creating idols! We readily become enamored of someone or something until we are not aware that we have put it ahead of God. How dangerous and destructive when that idol becomes a rallying point around which a faction is built. And ultimately, within a church family, how heartbreaking it is when our triune God is not the focus, the idol, around which we rally. The consequences can last for decades effecting precious lives in a manner that we may never begin to fathom.

Case in point; good Christians, people that I love, behaved in a fashion that I could or would never have believed possible of them. The disrespect shown to their pastor and the lack of thoughtfulness for children and less mature Christians from wiser, more mature Christians, was unsettling. To witness such incredible behavior in God’s house following a worship service where we had been exalting our Savior who forgave, redeemed and restored us left me stunned and grieved in my spirit. Unfortunately having witnessed such behavior, I was reminded of a poignant truth: there but for the grace of God go I.

As I examine my own heart, I recognize that I have created my own idols in my past and behaved similarly. I am still learning that unless I am pursuing only Jesus, always Jesus, I will fall into the sin of idolatry! Psalm 106:36 spells it out for us: “They worshiped their idols, which became a snare to them.” For whatever comes before Jesus will be a snare, defined as: “a device, often consisting of a noose, for capturing small game; anything serving to entrap or entangle unawares”. I am not immune to the brokenness within me that allows me to idolize my own ideas of right or wrong or my perceptions of truth or falsehood. Consequently, nothing can come before Jesus Christ: my church, my pastor, my friends, my spouse, nothing! Without the example of Jesus before me daily, I will become ensnared in my truth, turn from His truth, and travel down a road of destruction.

As a member of Christ’s body, I have an obligation to constantly examine my own heart and allow others who are objective to lovingly examine my heart because I can be blind to my sin. I must scrutinize: am I considering others better than myself (Phil. 2:3)? Am I striving to preserve a teachable spirit? Am I prepared to admit an offense and seek forgiveness and restoration? Am I actively pursuing my Jesus above all things, above any idea, above any one? With Jesus as my cornerstone, my source of strength, and my anchor, grace, restoration and healing are possible through His indwelling Holy Spirit.

Consider this an antidote for all of us: let us humble ourselves, immerse ourselves in prayer, agree to resolve to our differences wherever possible, and move forward with the ministry to which we have been called. Honest communication and transparent soul searching within the community of our church will be a step. For the benefit of our children, for the building up of our brothers and sisters, let us endeavor to seek Jesus first and foremost! Repentance, forgiveness, and restoration will result in a united body. May God find us faithful to the great Commandment and the great Commission while joyfully serving Him and each other.